We're separated...

Yesterday, my husband left me...and he took my two oldest kids with him, leaving me with our three 15 year olds. Oh, don't worry, our marriage is just fine and he'll return to me just in time to celebrate our 20th anniversary at the end of this month. So where are Dad and the 17 year olds off to? Well, they've headed to the Big Easy for a little service learning adventure.

The awesome charter school that our kids attend does a lot of community service work both here and in other communities. The school has done trips to New Orleans the past couple of years where the students have worked with a group called United Saints Recovery Project. A group of 15-20 students and staff spend a week repairing homes that were damaged in Hurricane Katrina in 2005...and yes, there's still an appalling amount of work to be done even 8 years later.

This year Ms. Senior wanted to make a difference by joining the service trip to NOLA before she graduates. Her brother was motivated both by service and the tempting prospect of a week away from school when he signed up for the trip. Craig was also interested in the service work and sharing the experience with his kids and volunteered to go along as a chaperone/skilled laborer. They flew down yesterday afternoon, spent today touring the hardest hit areas and becoming familiar with the work ahead of them. Tomorrow they'll be up at 7:00 AM and headed to the work site. They could be painting, cleaning, renovating, or planting a community garden. Whatever they do, it will be hot and dirty...and appreciated by the folks they're serving. I'm so proud of them!

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So what about the rest of us?  Well, I have to report that I'm equally proud of my other 3 kids. While I was at the airport yesterday, my youngest mopped the floor and washed the windows at home...totally unsolicited help that was a lovely surprise. Then my girl helped with dinner and we all watched a movie together. This morning, my first boy had to have blood work done, not his favorite thing but he did it without complaint and was very brave. After that, Tanya and I headed to the mall for some early birthday shopping...she turns 16 next weekend! It was a real treat to spend one on one time with her today. Everyone managed to complete homework, do chores, and catch up on laundry and it's not even dark yet...gasp!...and I taught Tanya how to make Asian Fried Rice for dinner so we're all well fed. It's still daylight and I have downtime, a rare occurrence. I'm planning an early bedtime, some extra rest for my poor weary body...but my heart is happy and full of gratitude for the kids who have been trying so hard to be good to Mom. Service is happening here at home, too.

When I was 3...almost 4...

I had chicken pox. I don't remember much about it, just some itching and an image of me in my parents' 1950 something Pontiac, watching our small town Memorial Day Parade from the car while I scratched my spots. Fast forward a decade or 5 and here we are...this week, I was diagnosed with shingles. This is a blast from the past I could do without but I'm actually wicked lucky. I sought treatment early and am maintaining as long as I stay on my anti-virals and pain meds. Not lovin' it but we'll cope. Better living through chemistry... the pain is manageable and I'm still upright.

Mother's Day and accomplishments

Eighteen years ago today, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I wasn't officially a mom yet, I was 6 months pregnant with our first child and my DH and I were pretty excited. My sweet husband bought me a lovely rocking chair as my first "mom" gift and it got plenty of use over the years. The baby I used to rock to sleep in that chair will graduate from high school next month...and over the years, we've been blessed with 4 other kids who make Mother's day one of my favorite occasions.

Why is this day special to me? Yes, I love the breakfast in bed that my kids serve me annually with their Dad's help. I love the flowers that Dad snuck in the house and arranged for me last evening. I love the cards and hugs and carefully chosen gifts...but what I love best of all is looking back over the years, seeing how far my kids have come, and knowing I had a part in their journey. Their gifts reflect their love and their accomplishments and that's the very best reward any mom could ask for! Here's what I mean:

My oldest gave me victories. She worked in secret. She swiped my tablet, downloaded pictures of her siblings and herself to her own computer, and formatted them onto one page into a photo collage of milestones. There's a pic of one sib learning to ride a bike, another sib proudly showing off his driving permit, a pic of a sib reading to a class of pre-schoolers, a pic of herself in front of her college's admissions office on acceptance day. Probably my most cherished pic of all is of our boy grinning broadly as he celebrated his 15th birthday at home...the smile on his face says it all. I now have a framed reminder of the hard won accomplishments of my kids...thank you, Miss Senior!

My youngest grew me a flower...and grew so much himself! He gave me a snapdragon in a wee little pot that he decorated himself. He wrote a Mother's Day message on it...and he is justifiably proud of his ability to read and write on his own these days. Thank you, sweet boy, I love the flower you grew and am so proud of what you wrote just for me!

My monkey gave me her heart! I got a lovely floating heart necklace that says "Every day is better with you by my side", also a note from my girl that said, "I'm glad that I'm yours." Me too, baby, every day...even on your sassy teenage days...thanks for letting me be your mom!

My first boy gave me a hug and that's huge....because this boy spent last Mother's Day in a locked pediatric psychiatric unit but this year, he's home where he belongs. He also gave me a pretty reed diffuser and a sweet card, helped make breakfast, and is being so kind today...so much progress from a year ago! Thanks, squirrel, for making my day extra special!

My oldest boy is giving me his time. This past week, he sold some of his favorite videogames to get some extra cash, then told me he wanted to take me out for Mother's Day. He offered to take me to lunch or to a movie, my choice. I picked a movie....then he offered to take me to see "The Great Gatsby". For a 17 year old boy who would rather have a root canal than see "The Great Gatsby", I figured that was a gift in and of itself...but I told him I'd rather go to a film we would both like. This afternoon, he'll be taking me to see "Ironman 3" with his own money. Thanks, my wonderful son...I am truly honored that you want to hang out with Mom!

Best Mother's Day gift of all? My kids....my awesome, wonderful, maddening, funny, frustrating, hormone-soaked, courageous, challenging, awe-inspiring teens who are growing into such interesting young adults. Love you all...thanks for another amazing year as your mom. The adventure continues!

A Glitzy Girly Day

It's time to shop for Senior Prom and Freshman Semi-Formal...so my best girls and I went to a fancy store called Glitterati where they played dress-up. Lots of fun....and don't they look fabulous?

The definition of bravery

Recently, my youngest boy had to compose an essay at school. Since he struggles with writing due to his FASD, he dictated his essay to his teacher who acted as his scribe. His teacher sent me a copy of the essay with this note:

This is a copy of an essay A. dictated to me. I felt you needed a copy of it.

Hmm...with an intro like that, I couldn't wait to read what my son had to say. His teacher was right; I did need a copy of the essay. With A's permission, I'm printing his essay here for anyone who has ever wondered about the challenges of international adoption from the child's perspective. I'm also sharing it for those who have been touched by FASD...my boy may struggle with writing but that doesn't stop him from sharing the wisdom of his heart.

Bravery

I had bravery to come to America. I came to the US to have a new mother to be nice to me. I wanted to learn more language and to be a good man. When Mom was speaking to me in American language she said to me can you give me the cup. I didn't know what she said. So my brother tell me in Russian the cup and I bring it to her. She said good job.

I asked Mom I didn't want to go to school. Mom said I had to go to school. I didn't know what people were talking about in school. Then there were a Russian teacher and she was telling me what they were saying to me. Then there were kids saying in English and I didn't know what they were saying to me. So I say something in Russian to them. I told the Russian teacher and she said in English say nice stuff.

When you get bullied you have to tell the teacher who is swearing at you and being mean to you. Because people won't bully you if you stand up for yourself and talk nice to them and they will be nice to you.

Bravery helps you make friends. Helps you stand up for yourself. In war you have to be brave to be a soldier. Your mother will be so proud of you for being brave.

Yes, son....your mother will be proud of you for being brave...and I am, every single day!!!

Another FASD victory!

See this boy? He's my youngest son. He's sweet, kind, funny, and helpful. He's good with animals and little kids. He's also 15 years old, going on 10. Due to his Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, he is younger than his years. In the 4 years he's been with us, he has faced many challenges. He's come to a new country, adapted to a new language and culture, and learned to live in a family. He has also struggled to regulate his emotions. He has struggled with all things academic. Once a few years back, he was even hospitalized for his own safety when he just couldn't handle all the changes...but the other day, a miracle happened.

The other day, I got a call from this boy's school. It wasn't to tell me he was sick or in trouble or needed help. It was to tell me that he had volunteered to read to a group of preschoolers. Why is this noteworthy? Because until just a few short months ago, this boy couldn't read even the simplest book and we wondered if literacy would ever be within his reach. Thankfully, we've seen progress in this most important area thanks to his hard work and the persistence of his teachers. To be honest, his reading skills are still far below his grade level...but that didn't stop him from trying to read a book to younger kids...and succeeding!! To me, this is the definition of courage...and hope.

Feeling grateful and proud...

My baby is all grown up and going to college!

Seventeen years and some months ago, my DH and I were sitting at the breakfast table, bleary eyed and sleep deprived because we had a wee newborn babe who was just a few days old. I noticed my sweet husband was a bit emotional and asked him what was wrong..and he said (with a tear in his eye) that he just knew we'd blink and this precious babe would be 18 and going off to college. I told him to breathe and enjoy the next 17+ years before he sweated the next phase.

Well..today his prophecy came true. Today our little girl was accepted at the college of her choice. Dear God in Heaven, where have the years gone? In a few short months, the babe who used to fit in the crook of my arm will graduate from high school, turn 18, and move on to major in education in college. She wants to teach kids to read; she wants to touch the lives of kids the way her teachers have touched her.  So proud of my girl!!!

Congratulations, sweet Kate...you rock!