Thursday, July 10, 2008
We brought Max home in September 2005 after a long and difficult process in KZ...we had a contentious prosecutor who made sure she delayed everything she could including getting Max a passport. Craig and the girls had to return home so they could start school in September while Max and I stayed in Almaty chasing the elusive passport. After 8 long weeks, Max and I finally arrived at Logan airport...Max was exhausted and frightened so I shouldn't have been surprised at the major tantrum he threw when I had to wake him to get off the plane in Boston. He literally entered the US kicking and screaming that he didn't want a new family and he wanted to go back to KZ...an omen of what was to come.
Max's first months in our family were difficult for us all...he was angry and frightened most of the time and we were at a loss as to how to console him. His tantrums were the stuff of legends, nuclear meltdowns that left the whole family exhausted. There were times when we wondered how much we could take and we were glad we had a good support system. Thank heavens for the great therapist we already used for Tanya's adjustment period! She really helped us through those months...but the other important thing we did was search for and find Max's birthfamily in KZ. When we made contact with Max's birthmother, we learned of the terrible abuse that Max had endured at the hands of his stepfather. Suddenly, it became clear why Max was such an angry and terrified boy who was having a hard time trusting family.
It's been a long haul for us all but I'm happy to report that Max is no longer Mad Max...he's my bright, funny boy who tells me that he isn't so scared any more...and that maybe he can trust us after all. Max turned 11 yesterday but he gave me the best gifts, telling me that he loved me several times...and when he blew out the candles on his cake, he told us that his wish had already come true. We're pretty sure he's actually starting to believe that a family is something worth wishing for...and we know he's right where he belongs!