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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Things I hope my kids will learn before I die...

For our boys:

1. Mashed potatoes are not a finger food; neither are scrambled eggs or peas.
2. Ice cream does not constitute an entire food group.
3. Dirty clothes belong in the laundry basket; they are not a decorating tool.
4. Videogames aren't vital to survival.
5. Lift the doggone toilet seat!!!
6. You won't die if you don't get a new videogame every week.
7. Wrestling with your brother in a manner that cracks the ceiling/floors/walls is too rough.
8. Bodily functions aren't really that funny.
9. Swearing doesn't make you cool.
10. Videogame time isn't an inalienable right under the constitution; it's a privilege that can be lost. (See #9)
11. Mom isn't deaf.

For our girls:

1. Boys aren't really a lower life form...even if they do think bodily functions are funny.
2. Cell phones aren't an inalienable right under the constitution; they're a privilege that can be lost. (See #3)
3. Sending over 400 text messages in 2 weeks is excessive.
4. "But everybody else is doing it!" isn't a good defense....ever.
5. Shrieking, dissing your sibs, tattling, and eye rolling are not cool traits.
6. Sharing with your sister is good...but it's polite to ask first before borrowing things.
7. Mom never had a sister...so keep your paws off my stuff (i.e. my socks, my sweatshirts, my tank tops, my makeup) unless you ask first...as in a written contract...notarized and apostilled.
8. Making a fashion statement should also include knowing how to use a napkin, a hairbrush and a toothbrush.

And most importantly, even when we're driving each other crazy:

1. Family is forever
2. You're here to stay
3. We're stuck with each other, angry or happy, good day or bad
4. You can trust us
5. We love you!


donna.jarrell said...

Hi Dee, Woody and I have especially enjoyed your recent posts and often are reminded of our time in Salem a year ago. So much to be thankful for these days - I like to think that the many prayers for you and your family were heard.

farmbeachgal said...

Very funny Dee. And I can always use a good laugh ....!