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Sunday, August 22, 2010

A mother's pride...

The morning didn't start off well...I'd barely sipped my morning life-giving latte when Tanya and Aniyar got into an argument which spiraled out of control. I spent the next half hour holding my youngest son and telling him that I loved him but that I wouldn't let him hurt himself or others in our house. Next Madiyar and Tanya got into an argument over an old Ipod and a non-working phone that they had traded each other last week...by the time that discussion ended, Madiyar had thrown the Ipod over our fence into the swamp so that neither he nor his sister could have it. Then Max decided to show his support for his brother by being rude and disrespectful to Mom, earning himself an early bedtime. When it was time to go to church, we had a sulky posse of boys who were picking on Tanya when they thought no one was looking. Once at church, the boy posse remained unrepentant for a time and there was tension in the air...so what the heck could I be so proud of? My kids made some bad choices and so did I in parenting them today. Apologies and consequences for actions are in the works...but I can also look back across time and see so much progress in our kids that I have to be proud of them, too. Here are the reasons why:

They've learned to band together and support each other.
Sometimes it's boys against girls, sometimes it's older kids vs. younger ones or some other alliance...but they have a sense of loyalty that will serve them well in life. I'm so glad you guys will always have each other's backs.

Aniyar didn't hurt himself or anyone else. He was also able to calm down in much less time than he used to need, and was able to apologize for his behavior. I'm glad you're trusting us more, my special boy!

Tanya stood up for herself when she felt she had been wronged. Tanya desperately wants to be liked and will sometimes give in to her friends or sibs in order to curry their favor...but this time, she was ready to stand her ground. Tanya, sweetie, you were right and I was wrong...even Moms make mistakes and I apologize for mine...but I'm very proud of you for sticking up for yourself!

My boys controlled their anger, swallowed their pride, and calmed themselves. Believe me, guys, I know how difficult it is for you to do these things...but when I showed up at church, you were being respectful and even singing a bit. Seeing my wild child get up and dance to the songs brought tears to my eyes...and watching my other two boys slowly shed their anger in favor of smiles caused the tears to fall. Boys, I hope you know by now that I may fight with you when I think you've been wrong...but I'll also fight for you...and I'll always love you. I'm proud of all 3 of you for choosing to let go of your anger during church!

Diva Kate was able to be Switzerland during the drama. Sometimes it's hard for our oldest to stay out of the fray even when it's not her fight...but today, she limited her involvement to calmly telling her sibs that they were all being a bit foolish, then she butted out. Thanks, diva, for letting Mom and Dad handle the parenting...I'm proud you mostly remained neutral on this one!

My kids fight, forgive, forge alliances, then fracture them, and forgive again. They've become a true family, imperfections and all...and that's a lot to be proud of even on a tough day.

1 comment:

farmbeachgal said...

Good for you for seeing all the positives. One of the hardest things to do sometimes!