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Thursday, November 17, 2011

What will I say?

This week, I'll go to a college class and talk about adoption just like I've done several times before over the years. In the past, I've talked about our travels to Kazakhstan, the struggles of the international adoption process, the transition and adjustment period that adopted kids go through, the issues older adopted kids face, etc...but now that I have a house full of 5 teens, what else could I possibly add?

Should I mention the son who is struggling mightily with hormones and a medication change at present? Should I mention that he has picked fights with sibs, screamed and sworn at us, and threatened to kill us all in our sleep this week?

Should I talk about my other son who put a hole in the wall out of frustration after an argument with the aforementioned son?

Should I talk about my daughter who is grounded after sneaking out of the house with her friend last week?

Should I mention that there's been a lot of singing and dancing around the kitchen, hugs, and laughter lately in spite of these other things?

Maybe I should talk about the dinner my oldest cooked for the whole family all (well, mostly) by herself...

Or the fact that my boys ratted out their sister for sneaking out of the house (and took pictures of her) because they were actually worried about her...

Or that two of my sons have already finished their Christmas shopping for their sibs because they just couldn't wait...

Or the way I've noticed my kids helping each other...when they're not trying to kill each other.

Maybe I should just talk about how building a family takes work...

And how building a family with traumatized children who have no reason to trust takes even more work...

And that teenagers are by definition difficult...and traumatized teens can be doubly so...

And yet...by some small miracle,

And against all odds...

In spite of different blood and different ethnicity and coming from opposite sides of the planet...

In spite of spending our days riding a roller coaster of trauma and hormones and teenage angst,

And dysfunctional though we may be...

We are a family.

3 comments:

Anne Kimball said...

Thanks. I needed that.

alphamama said...

Anne, my friend, you of all people know just what I mean! Hope the roller coaster ride has smoothed out at your house.

Bob LaSota said...

You said it all so well! Thank you for a memorable
presentation.

Bob