Home again...

Our boy was discharged from his CBAT program today. His behavior has been exemplary in the CBAT, no aggression or anger and no hallucinations or paranoia so the staff felt he was ready to step down to the local partial hospital day program which would offer him therapy and structure between 9-3 each day. Sounds good as a logical next step, right? Unfortunately, the day program has refused to accept him based on his destructive behaviors when he was enrolled there previously...sigh. That means he's home but doesn't have any structure in place for his days, never a good thing. I'm hoping to get him in a therapeutic day camp at the YMCA later this week; he has to be interviewed before he can be accepted there. In the meantime, he's wandering from room to room, unable to focus on anything for very long but at least he's pleasant and calm.

I'm nervous delighted to have our boy home! I should be am so glad that he hasn't shown any aggression or anger in weeks now...and that he seems to be more stable...but I have to admit that trusting that the calm will hold is difficult after all we've been through. If it's hard for me, think how tough it is for my other kids. So here's what I told my kids:

I get it, you're nervous. You're not sure you want your brother home because that might mean screaming and raised knives and feeling unsafe. Guess what? I don't blame you; in fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't feel that. I'm the grown up and I feel the same way. Here's what I'm asking. Let's just try. I'm nervous, too. I'm still going to try my best to trust, to forgive, to give your brother another chance...because that's what families do. I'll start with the trying and maybe after a while you will feel like you can try, too. Let's take it a day at a time and see what happens...

The responses ranged from:

NO.

to

I'll try...but if he swears at you or hurts anyone, I'll break his nose.

to

I'm ready to forgive him but why can't he focus and act normal?

One day at a time...we've survived the first afternoon and evening so that's a start.