Just another crazy weekend...

Here's the weekend at our house:

Friday

2:00pm

Mom picks up Kate, Tanya and Madiyar at school. Max walks home, arriving about the same time we pull in the driveway. Aniyar's bus drops him off a few minutes later. Snacks are consumed and the kids run off to play. Kate begins to set up the living room for a sleepover with two friends...this means opening the sofa bed and bringing Mom and Dad's TV downstairs for a movie festival of various chick flicks.

3:30pm

Mom drops Tanya back at school to catch a bus for her basketball game, takes Kate to the grocery to buy snacks and ice cream for the sleepover.

4:00pm

Kate finishes turning our living room into Party Central complete with stuffed animals, pillows, a stack of DVD's. A late night with lots of teenage girl squealing is anticipated. Takeout menus have been provided for the girls' dining pleasure...because Mom doesn't love cooking on Fridays. The boys want to know what they can eat and why they can't have a sleepover. I tell them they can watch a movie in the family room and eat on TV trays. They beg for leftovers.

5:00pm

Our realtor calls to tell us that someone wants to look at our house on Saturday at 10:30am. This means the house has to be sparkling clean and decluttered and all humans/dogs must vacate the premises by 10:15am....aarghhhhh!!!!!

5:30pm

I pull the leftover casserole out of the fridge and warm it for the boys. They lay waste to it while watching their movie. Craig arrives home and we begin to peruse takeout menus for us...because Mom doesn't love cooking on Fridays.

6:00pm

Kate's friends arrive and the party commences. There's a lot of noise both upstairs and down.

6:30pm

Tanya calls and says the game is over. I dash out to pick her up and fix her some soup for dinner. In the meantime, the girls have consumed chicken wings, fish sandwiches, and fries along with candy and soda. Tanya joins the fun.

7:00pm

Our friends Rick and Deb come over and we order pizza. The decibel level in the house has now reached epic proportions. The adults, all seasoned parents, practice deep breathing and meditation techniques to remain calm and relaxed. There are cocktails involved.

9:00pm

The younger kids are sent off to bed amidst whining about the unfairness of life and bedtimes. Madiyar is bribed with additional computer time if he leaves the sleepover party alone. He's delighted with the deal. The decibel level on the second floor decreases dramatically. The party girls turn to ice cream and more chick flicks. Mom begins tidying the house for the next day.

9:30pm

Tanya gets out of bed to remind Mom that her basketball uniform needs to be washed for her game on Saturday morning. Mom starts a load of laundry.

10:00pm

Mom and Dad retire to their room to read. Madiyar calls it a night, too. The party girls watch movies until after midnight, then fall asleep one by one. Kate is the last one awake, finally drifting off around 1:30am.

Saturday

7:30am

Dad and Aniyar get up and rush off to Aniyar's 8:00am basketball game. I start cleaning the house...and our bedroom rug where the dog peed in the night. As the rest of the kids get up and eat breakfast, I share my plan for them to all help prepare for the realtor's showing and give them their cleaning assignments. This plan is met with resistance and near mutiny in the ranks until I mention that videogame time is a privilege that can be lost. The boys begin vacuuming and tidying their room. Tanya cleans bathrooms and then dresses for her basketball game.

8:30am

I rouse the party girls and feed them breakfast, then send them off to transform Party Central back into our living room. There's much scurrying about and giggling but actual work is in short supply.

9:15am

Dad and Aniyar return home. Mom hasn't had a shower yet and the house is only half cleaned. Mom and Dad both strongly encourage the children to move faster with their cleaning assignments. Kate announces that the vacuum has stopped working. Dad dismantles the vacuum and finds that it's clogged with Nerf bullets, Legos, and a pencil. Vacuuming resumes.

9:45am

The house is vacuumed and tidied. Mom sprays air freshener and puts a mini crockpot of potpourri on to simmer in our bedroom to cover the doggie peepee smell that lingers on the carpet, then jumps into the shower. Dad begins calling out a 15 minute warning to the kids to finish their chores and evacuate the premises.

10:05am

Kids and dogs are loaded into the two vehicles. Mom does the final walk through to be sure nothing has been overlooked, then we are clear.

10:30am

Dad drops Tanya at her basketball game, then takes the boys to Gamestop where they plan to trade in old videogames for store credit and pick out new ones. I drive the party girls to the mall where they plan to shop, lunch, and see a movie. The dogs and I wave goodbye to them, then Nellie tries to climb in my lap. I remind her that she is not a chihuahua but a 60 lb. greyhound. She settles for riding shotgun.

11:30am

Mom and Dad meet at Wendy's and feed the boys lunch while waiting for the showing to be over. We walk the dogs after lunch and generally loiter until it's time to go home.

12noon

We return to our tidy house and the boys begin to clutter it anew.

12:30pm

Tanya calls to say her game is over and she needs a ride home; Dad plays chauffeur this time. Mom fixes Tanya some lunch. Mom and Dad go out to do fun errands like buying more vacuum cleaner bags.

2:00pm

Kate calls and says the movie will be over at 5:30. She wants to know if we can give one of her friends a ride home.

3:30pm

Mom and Dad return home from errands and Mom begins to prep the evening meal; it's breakfast for dinner. Bacon, home fried potatoes, and cheese biscuits are made. A dozen eggs are cracked and ready to scramble.

5:00pm

Kate calls to say the movie is over and she's ready to come home. Mom chauffeurs while Dad makes pancakes.

6:30pm

Breakfast is served with a large bowl of grapes on the side. The food disappears; so do the children.

7:30pm

Mom begins to prep the meal for Dad's church meeting on Sunday. It's pot roast for 15 people for lunch. Eight lbs. of beef, 2 lbs. of carrots, a couple of onions, and a bag of red potatoes are trimmed and cleaned.

9:00pm

The crockpot is filled with meat and onions to simmer overnight and the veggies are stored in the fridge until the morning. The younger kids are sent off to bed and Kate and Mom watch Miss America. Dad and Madiyar start watching a movie on Dad's computer.

10:15pm

Mom and Kate head off to read a bit in bed. Dad and Madiyar are still watching their movie; Mom chalks it up to father-son bonding and lets them enjoy themselves. Nellie steals Dad's spot on the bed; snoring commences.

Sunday

7:30am

It's time to check the roast and add the veggies. Dogs and children are fed but at least the house doesn't need to be cleaned...much. The kids begin bickering, tempers flare and doors are slammed. Mom referees, repeating the Golden Rule several times to everyone. Dad makes lattes; the day looks better.

10:00am

People start arriving. Suddenly there are 8 kids and 7 adults in our living room. The dogs have been confined to our bedroom upstairs; Nellie expresses her outrage by eating a corner of our TV cabinet.

12:00noon

Lunch is served. I eat mine in the bedroom in an effort to keep Nellie from eating any more furniture. The kids are bickering and tattling on each other...they manage to find me and ask me to play Solomon once again. I can run but I can't hide.

1:00pm

The kids play soccer outside until the adults finish lunch and head home. We free the dogs from captivity and they romp around the yard. We clean up the kitchen, then relax a bit.

2:00pm

Dad naps while Mom blogs. Exhausted from soccer and a fresh round of bickering, the kids turn to movies and books. It's quiet for a while.

4:00pm

Mom overhears children complaining of hunger pangs. It's time to think of something for dinner and to pick a DVD for our family movie night. The weekend's almost over...and normally, I'd be looking forward to a quiet Monday...but tomorrow Craig's going on a business trip which makes me a single mom for a couple of days. Never a dull moment around here.