Thursday, March 24, 2011
With regrets to Elizabeth Taylor...
Child A: So who is this person? I never heard of her!
Mom: She was a very famous actress for many years and she was also a wonderful humanitarian who supported AIDS research among other things.
Dad: She was also pretty famous for her 8 husbands...
Child A: Say WHAT?
A photo of Taylor with Michael Jackson flashes on the screen
Child B: Oooo, MJ looks like a girl!
Child C: He's dead, stupid...
Child B: Mom says not to call people stupid, stupid. So was she married to MJ?
Mom: No, but she was married to Richard Burton.
Child A: Who?
Mom: Another really famous actor who bought her a huge diamond. She married him twice...
Child A: Say what????
Dad: And she was married to that trucker who she met in rehab....
Child A: What the heck would a rich, famous person need rehab for???
Mom: Think Lindsey Lohan, honey.
Child B: Oohhhh, I get it.
(About this time, the commentators start talking about Eddie Fisher leaving Debbie Reynolds for Taylor.)
Child A: Who the heck are those people?
Mom: More famous folks...remember Princess Leia from Star Wars?
Child A: You mean the chick with cinnamon buns on her ears?
Mom: (Sigh) Yes, dear. That's Carrie Fisher. Her dad left her mom and ran off with Ms. Taylor a long time ago.
Child D: Seriously, dude...someone should have punched him in the face. That's just rude.
Child C: Who gets the diamonds?
Just another theater-of-the-absurd lesson in current events and popular culture in our household...and people wonder why I don't home school.