With regrets to Elizabeth Taylor...

The sad news of Ms. Taylor's death was all over the morning TV shows and so it became the topic of discussion during breakfast. It started like this:

Child A:  So who is this person? I never heard of her!
Mom: She was a very famous actress for many years and she was also a wonderful humanitarian who supported AIDS research among other things.
Dad: She was also pretty famous for her 8 husbands...
Child A: Say WHAT?
A photo of Taylor with Michael Jackson flashes on the screen
Child B:  Oooo, MJ looks like a girl!
Child C: He's dead, stupid...
Child B: Mom says not to call people stupid, stupid. So was she married to MJ?
Mom: No, but she was married to Richard Burton.
Child A: Who?
Mom: Another really famous actor who bought her a huge diamond. She married him twice...
Child A: Say what????
Dad: And she was married to that trucker who she met in rehab....
Child A: What the heck would a rich, famous person need rehab for???
Mom: Think Lindsey Lohan, honey.
Child B: Oohhhh, I get it.
(About this time, the commentators start talking about Eddie Fisher leaving Debbie Reynolds for Taylor.)
Child A: Who the heck are those people?
Mom: More famous folks...remember Princess Leia from Star Wars?
Child A: You mean the chick with cinnamon buns on her ears?
Mom: (Sigh) Yes, dear. That's Carrie Fisher. Her dad left her mom and ran off with Ms. Taylor a long time ago.
Child D: Seriously, dude...someone should have punched him in the face. That's just rude.
Child C: Who gets the diamonds?

Just another theater-of-the-absurd lesson in current events and popular culture in our household...and people wonder why I don't home school.